Stephenisms: A Necessary Part Of Life

Stephen Floyd is one of my best friends and one of the best guys in the world. Of course, many of you reading this blog probably already know that.

Yesterday Stephen read my blog and told me...

"You make me laugh. Out loud. There should be a shorter way of saying that."

Hilarious right? I know! I told him he should blog, but he says no one cares what he has to say. Sad right? I know!

So in honor of Stephen, I have compiled a small collection of some of the best Stephenisms taken straight from his Facebook page. Enjoy, and then send me or Stephen a note insisting he start his own blog. 

It's a thing that needs to happen - Stephen, the people of the world need to see the things you think to say written in blog form, as long as none of those people are small children. I proudly present...

Stephenisms

"I open my email to find a ton of spam mail talking about weight loss and new bras. Thanks for the complex. Jerks."

"What has going to Krispy Kreme taught me? I could have never worked there. I was barely able to cage the beast for the 15 mins I was there. Let alone for 4-8 hrs a day."


"Why do I always get in situations that reveal just how much of a nerd I really am? It's uncanny."


"Why in the hell is "Doom" in quotations? Is it some sort of ironic doom? Is the doom implied?"


"What do you call someone with no legs or arms and who has an eyepatch?
...Names!"


"Gonna see The Green Hornet in 3d. Awesome!" (This one is only funny because he thinks that's awesome.)


"Statistics don't lie. 100% of all snickers candy bars are awesome."


"Cooking dinner! Yes ladies, I am a catch"




Ladies, he is a catch. You're gonna need a big mit though. He's like 8'5". Now make this guy blog!